Inner game issues holding you back from successful online dating?
You inner game is arguably your most important asset when it comes to your online dating success. The scars and weaknesses you have on the inside are externally portrayed to other people whether you like it or not.
No matter how hard you try to mask the scars of your past they are ever present and outwardly almost awkwardly obvious externally to other people. Whether you think you are doing a good job at hiding your insecurities or not, one thing is clear, everyone needs to work on their inner game…
It is your psychological health, how well you can deal with your emotions, how well you understand yourself, how “in control” you feel in your life.
All of these issues are perhaps the best leverage points for online dating success – If you feel as though you have learnt all the strategies and techniques, tried all the pickup lines and still your online dating success is nil then you might need to work on your inner game issues.
Your psychology is like your style and your “game” – Some of us are running very old software (psychology) on our hardware (brain) we need to update this software…
Psychology problems need to be cured via therapy or learning and teaching because drugs do ZERO about your psychology, drugs only fix brain chemistry to a certain degree.
One key issue that you can work on is your boundary issues.
Your level of anxiety is often measured by your level of control or how many things you control in your life. Unfortunately in life today if you look at it we control very little!
And it is very easy to focus on those things that we cannot control and try to influence them, which leads to a greater sense of loss and anxiety. By focusing on what we CAN control issues of anxiety and stress decrease and as a result confidence increases.
Here is an example…
What you CAN control in the dating game is YOUR actions
-what you wear
- how you act
- but most importantly how you REACT to other people’s action
YOU have the choice of how you act and how you deal with rejection, even though you may not feel like you do there is a period in time between when you receive the stimulus (the rejection by a hot girl) and your emotional reaction (fear and anxiety) that YOU CONTROL…
Your inner game deals with this control and how to tap into it. In most men with low inner game and inner game issues the time between stimulus and reaction is very small. Such that the fear and hurt response when one gets rejected is automatic.
This does not need to be the case!
You do have control over your response to women you just need to work on the emotions that control your thought. By being in control of a situation and having the knowledge that you are not going to get this automatic fear response at any moment puts YOU in the driver’s seat and hence your confidence in your own ability to talk and interact with this women skyrockets.
It may take time to heal the wounds of the past but the returns on your efforts will be far reaching.